All that matters in life DEPENDS ON this one small thing: pay attention
Do you want a life filled with love, meaning, deep relationships, flow, growth, and mastery? Practice the art of paying attention.
Do you remember the Greek myth where King Midas gets the ability to turn everything he touches into gold? Well, each one of us has a far greater ability than ‘the golden touch’: the golden touch in modern times is our ability to pay attention.
How is that better than King Midas turning everything into gold? For one, we have a choice about what we focus our attention on (poor Midas had no choice but to turn everything—even food— into gold) and, while this may sound far-fetched (stay with me now), the treasures our focus produces over time are more valuable than gold—and any material things for that matter.
“Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
What we focus on throughout our lifetime reaps:
1. Mastery-level Skills: Want to be fluent in Icelandic, write the next great American Novel, pilot a helicopter? The ability to do deep work is essential.
2. Self-knowledge and Personal Growth: Broad and deep awareness and reflection on both positive and negative aspects of our self (willingness to shine the spotlight on our blindspots and get feedback from others).
3. Loving and Fulfilling Relationships: Choosing to focus on another person makes us a good listener and makes people want to relate with us (who does not want to be known and understood on a deep level?)
4. Emotional Intelligence: Attuning to the sensory information in our body we recognize, know, accept, and wisely manage our own—and the—emotions of those around us.
5. Full and Meaningful Living: Attention to our 5 senses orients us to the present moment. The present moment is where we make choices. The freedom to respond—rather than react—is what distinguishes us from other creatures. Our ability to “be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!” ~Psalm 46 to reflect and speak wisdom to our soul when it is downcast, like David.
From these depths, we truly live: we act proactively, make meaningful choices, change and grow.
That’s why we intuit we are in the presence of Holy ground whenever someone shares their story and we deeply listen (or we share and are deeply heard).
When we focus on God or listen closely to a loved one, we are giving the most valuable part of ourselves—our inner spirit— to that person. That’s why the intentionality of our heart is so important to God; he wants our full attention; He wants us to choose Him and to continually choose Him… over and over again.
“The first act of love is always the giving of attention.”
“The most important thing in your life is not what you do; it's who you become. That's what you will take into eternity.”
“The main thing God gets out of your life is not the achievements you accomplish. It's the person you become.”
~Dallas Willard
Now I’d love to hear your thoughts. Some food for thought:
When was the last time you were deeply listened to? What was that experience like for you? What thoughts and feelings came up? When was the last time you were so immersed in what you were doing or who you were with that you felt FLOW ?
“My mind isn’t wandering. I am not thinking of something else. I am totally involved in what I am doing. My body feels good. I don’t seem to hear anything. The world seems to be cut off from me. I am less aware of myself and my problems.”
Click here: To try ace anchor focus tool (4 mins)
Practice to grow your emotional intelligence, and ability to focus and do what matters now.
Focus on what matters,
Charles
